Saturday, July 23, 2011

Accentuate The Positive

Today, I'm linking up with, "Show Us Your Life". She's talking about marriage advice, and asking us to give ours.

I have been married to Hubs for 17 years. Here we are on our wedding day, just two, fresh-faced kids, who had NO CLUE what we were doing. Ha! I was only 20, he was 23.

Through the years, we have had our share of ups and downs. Do we fight? Yep. But, we try to fight fair, and not keep grudges, or hold it over each other's heads forever.

Do we always get along? Nope. But, we try to give each other space when we need it. Sometimes, it can be hard to live with another person, no matter how "in love" you are.

I have promised him, that I will never purposely try to make him look bad in front of other people. That goes for in person, on Facebook, or my blog. When we are with other people, if we disagree about something, we don't argue in front of everyone. That shows respect for the other person. No one likes to be made fun of, or belittled in public.

One thing I have learned is if you are looking for the negative, you will surely find it! Johnny Mercer said it right in his lyrics to "Accentuate the Positive"

You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium's
Liable to walk upon the scene

I try to look for the positive, and try to remember just exactly why I married him in the first place.

We had a long distance relationship before we were married. At another time, I will write "Our Story" but we basically got to really know each other through letters. Back then, we didn't have email, Facebook, or Skype. We could talk to each other on the phone, but it was very expensive, and neither one of us made very much money. So, we wrote letters. Lots and lots of them! They have all been saved, and sometimes, I will re-read the sweet words that he wrote to me.

I remember the way that I felt, being so far away from him, and how much I longed to have the life I have right now. To be his wife. To have his children.

I try to do the little things that I know make him happy. That make him feel loved, and respected.

We enjoy spending time together, and have fun just being with each other. Whether we are on a fancy date, or just vegging out in front of the t.v.

Real life is nothing like the reality shows, "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette". Sure, we have times where we are madly in love. Hubs still gives me butterflies, and he ;)

But, we also have times when both of us are tired, the kids are getting on our last nerve, schedules are hectic, and our patience is wearing thin. This is life.

It helps to remember that NO marriage is perfect, and we won't ALWAYS be happy.

With God's help, we are keeping our vows. For better or worse. For richer or poorer. In sickness and in health. As long as we both shall live.

For 17 years......and counting.

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