Thursday, May 24, 2012

Funny Forms

One of my daughters was going to the chiropractor with me today, and since she is a new patient, she had to fill out the required new patient form. She was puzzled by some of the questions they asked, and so was I. Here is the (overly) sarcastic conversation we had while she was filling it out:

Me: You have to answer all the questions on this form about your health history.

Her: Uhhh....Mom? It is asking me, if in my entire life, I have ever had diarrhea. Really? Ever? Hasn't everyone, at one time or another in their life, had diarrhea?

Me: (laughing hysterically) I'm sure they have!

Her: (said with a Valley Girl accent) Liiiiiike, that one time...... I ate too much watermelon........does that count?

Me: (still laughing hysterically) I'm not sure, but I don't think that counts.

Her: Now, they are asking me if at ANY time in my ENTIRE life has my arm or hand been numb. It did get numb that one time I hit the ball too hard with the bat in softball.

Me: Yes, I imagine it did! I don't think that's what they meant.

Her: What about if I have ever had blurred vision? I always have blurred vision when I wake up in the morning!

Her: They also want to know if I have EVER had a chronic cough. Ever? Do they want to know about that time when I was six years old, and I was sick and coughing? What does that have to do with anything? Ever had a headache? Yes. Ever had an earache? Yes. Ever had...

Me: I think that they are just wanting to rule out serious illnesses. I'm sure that most people who fill out these forms can't really answer "no" to most of these questions!

Her: Do I have any problems with my prostate gland? I? (bats eyelashes)

Me: (can't speak I'm laughing so hard!)

And now you know what goes on in our house, behind closed doors....