MRI and My Happy Place

Today, I have written my 100th post. Yay! I was planning on doing the ever-so-popular post, "100 Things About Me". However, I am too lazy, and busy, to write that post right now. Sorry friends. Maybe some other time.

Instead, I will tell you all about my experience having an MRI on my brain this morning.

I spoke with several people about their experience having an MRI, and they were all different. My sister had one on her back not too long ago, but her hospital has an "open" MRI machine, and our hospital does not.

I talked to a girl at our church who had one done recently at our hospital, and it was on her brain. She had to have an IV, so I wondered if I would have to have one also. If you are a new reader, or have just forgotten (although, I don't see HOW that would be possible!), you can read here about my last experience with an IV when I went in for a heart cath. If you are reading it for the first time, you may want to be sure you are sitting down. Good times...

I tried not to think too much about what was going to happen, and just figured that if I did have to have an IV for the MRI, I would just deal with it then. I was not going to worry about it, because there wasn't anything I could do about it anyway!

So, Hubs took me to the hospital bright and early this morning. I was able to wear my own clothes, I just couldn't wear anything with metal in it. I signed a paper saying that I did not have any metal devices implanted in my body (one of the items listed was an eyelid spring.... OUCH!) and that I had removed all jewelry, including any body piercings. Fortunately for me, I have not jumped on the "let's pierce strange parts of my body" band-wagon, so other than my single set of earrings that I had left at home, there was nothing to remove. I also had to say whether I was claustrophobic or not.

While I do feel a little claustrophobic thinking about being inside of a small tube (who wouldn't?!) I can safely ride in an elevator, or in an airplane without freaking out, so I said that I was not claustrophobic.  I have also been inside of a tanning bed in years past, and I was okay with that, but you are able to open that if you want to, so that is not quite the same thing.

They made me lie down on this very skinny table, and place my head in a certain area. I was going to have a plastic "cage" like thing on my head, and I knew that would sort of freak me out if I saw it going on, so I asked for a cloth to cover my eyes.

They placed a wedge pillow under my knees, which helped make it more comfortable for me to lie flat on my back.

They gave me a bulb I could squeeze if I needed them for any reason. That made me feel better, knowing that if I did start to panic, I would be taken out.

They also gave me gigantic headphones so I could listen to music while the machine was going off. She assured me that I would still hear the machine, as it was VERY loud, but it would help muffle the sound a little.

I asked her if the air would be "stuffy" inside the tube, and she said that it wouldn't be, that there is a fan that blows a cool breeze over you. It also was not dark inside the tube like I thought it would be, which certainly helps make it better.

When it was time to start, I had the cloth over my eyes so I couldn't see as I was being slid into the tube. I could feel the sides of my arms hitting the tube, and she told me that they might. It was rather tight in there. Since I was having the scan done on my brain, I only had to be in up to my waist. My legs were not inside at all.

She was right. The machine was VERY loud. She would talk to me during the scan, and tell me how long each test would be. This way, I knew exactly how long I had to be absolutely still each time. She had also told me ahead of time that the entire scan would take about a 1/2 hour, so as she told me each time, I could kind of keep track of how long I had been in there.

The noises sounded like loud beeps and jack hammers going off. The beeps were kind of similar to a child's annoying, noisy toy that you couldn't shut off. The last test shook me around a bit, and was the loudest, but the shortest of them all.

During the time I was in there, I did start to feel just a little panicky, thinking about how I was inside a tube, and I couldn't sit up. I went to my "happy place" and prayed, and concentrated on listening to the soft music, and I was able to make it through.

Just so you know, my happy place is as follows: I am at the beach, sitting on a rock, and I am watching the ocean. The waves are crashing against the rocks, and I can hear seagulls in the distance. The sun is shining on me, and the sky is incredibly blue. There are palm trees in my happy place, so it's like a combination of Florida and Maine, which are my two favorite places. Feel free to use my happy place if you want to the next time you need one. I promise I won't mind :)

It really was just a 1/2 hour like she said, and I did not have to have an IV. Much better than I thought it would be!

Hubs had to wait in the waiting room, as he couldn't come back with me. As I entered the waiting room, he said, "Are you done already?" He had gotten into a game on his phone, and wasn't quite ready to leave yet. Ha!

Now, the waiting begins to get my test results.

Can I just stay in my happy place until then?

Goodbye, Bitty

Yesterday was a very sad day in our household, y'all. (I feel the need to talk "southern" since I AM in the south.)

We had to put our beloved cat, Bitty, to sleep.

Let me back up a bit, and tell you the rest of the story.

I believe I mentioned that while we do have other pets, only my Yorkie comes with us to Florida. Our cat stays with a dear friend, Howie the cockatiel stays with my parents, and Derby the gigantic goldfish stays with my sister.

So, Bitty, our cat of 11 years, was staying over our friend's house. She LOVES it there. She is the only pet in the house, she doesn't have a pesky dog to deal with, and she is treated like a queen. I think she was secretly sad to come back to our house when we came home last year. Back to the house.....with the dog.

Anyway, she went to our friend's house, and my friend emailed me and said that she wasn't eating very much. We thought that she just needed to get adjusted to her new temporary home. She is an animal, and sometimes changes can be hard on them.

Then, she told me that she was starting to eat more, but she was not her normal piggish self. This cat was not small by any means. She weighed almost 10 lbs. For her not to eat much is very rare. She will usually sit by her bowl and "meow" for more food.

My friend contacted me a couple days ago, and said that she thought she had a hairball that she couldn't cough up. She was trying to, but she couldn't get it to come out. So, she put some Vaseline on her lips. I guess they will lick it off, and it will coat their digestive track and help lubricate it so the hairball can slide out more easily. I know.....Eeeewwww!

She said that since that didn't work, she went to the store and bought a special medicine made specifically to get rid of hairballs. She gave that to her, and although she was trying and trying to get it up, it just wouldn't come out.

She told me that she heard a noise that sounded like a man was in her house, and since she lives alone, this totally freaked her out! She then realized it was just Bitty, trying to hack up that darn hairball.

Yesterday, she told me that she was starting to get really worried about Bitty, as she was just lying in a ball, and not really moving around very much. There also hadn't been any poop in her litter box, which meant she wasn't eating.

So, we made arrangements for my parents to take her to the vet.

I started googling how to get rid of hairballs, and discovered that sometimes, hairballs can grow to the size of a baseball, and then the cat cannot get them out, and surgery is required to remove them. I fully expected that while this hairball situation could be serious, it could be fixed with surgery.

My parents took her to the vet, and then had the vet call me after she had checked Bitty out.

The vet told me that Bitty was in very bad shape, and that she did not think that she had a hairball. She was in liver failure, and her body was shutting down. Her temp was 10 degrees colder than a cat's should be. She could barely hear her heart because there was too much water around it.

She told me that we could spend thousands of dollars on testing, and trying to possibly treat her, but that she really thought we were dealing with a tumor in her chest. All the money that we would spend would simply prolong her life for a bit, but in the end, she would most likely not survive, and her quality of life would be very poor. With her being an "elderly" cat, and being so far gone already, her prognosis was not good.

Talk about a shock! I was expecting to hear that she had a hairball!

My daughters were already starting to cry as they heard me on the phone. The vet told me that she thought the best thing would be to euthanize her, and explained the process to me.

She kindly told me that by euthanizing her, they would just give her an overdose of a sedative. Since I have recently been sedated for my heart cath, I know what that is like. Only, instead of waking up, her heart would stop, and she would pass away.

We made the decision to euthanize her, and I proceeded to tell my girls, who had already heard some of what I was saying on the phone, and could see that I was crying.

I explained what the vet had told me, and how even though we were sad, it was best for Bitty, and that she was currently suffering. She deserved better than that.

I felt horrible having to make the decision to end her life when we weren't even with her. We would not get to say our last goodbyes. We couldn't pet her soft, silky fur one last time, and tell her how much we loved her, and how much we would miss her.

I suppose it was better this way. We didn't have to be there when she died. It would have broken our hearts even more.

She was our cat for 11 years. She was a stray that we found on our porch, in the middle of a blizzard. We had seen her and her cat friend around the neighborhood when the weather was warmer. Then, when it got cold, she camped out on her porch.

I was NOT a cat lover. I tolerated them, but that was all. I did not want a cat in my house. My middle daughter was 2 years old at the time. I felt sorry for the cat, who was just skin and bones, and brought her into our house. I figured that if she could hold her own with my 2 year old, she just might get to stay.

And she did.

She was so gentle and loving with the girls. She meowed her way into this dog lover's heart.

She was the best cat that a person could ever have. She didn't get on my counters (BIG pet peeve of mine!) she went potty only in her litter box (except that one time that Hubs closed the laundry room door and forgot to open it back up, so she went in my plant. Hey, a girl's gotta go somewhere!) and she took turns sleeping on my girls' beds. They adored her. We all did.

She wasn't overly social, and hated to be picked up, but she was loving in her own way.

Towards the end of her life at our house, she was starting to become more social with us. She would let me pick her up and cuddle her for a few minutes. She would risk "the dog" so that she could be by us. I think she knew that her time with us was growing short, and wanted to squeeze all the love she could into her last days.

She made our lives fuller, richer, and more lovable. And for that, we will always be grateful.

Goodbye, my Kitty Bitty Baby. We hope you know how much you meant to our family. Our house is going to feel emptier without you in it.

Forever loved.....

Forever missed....

What It's Like to Have A Heart Catheterization

So, yesterday was "D" day. Or rather, "H" day, since we are talking about my heart after all. It was time for my heart catheterization.

The night before the the procedure, I could not sleep. No matter how hard I tried, I just could not sleep. I had researched what they would do in detail, so I could be as prepared as possible. I may have researched a bit too much.

I got up bright and early, as I was not allowed anything to eat or drink after 7:00 a.m. My heart cath was scheduled for 2:00 p.m. It was going to be a long day...

I arrived at the heart center, and they checked me in. The heart center that is closest to us is one of the best, which made me feel like I was in good hands.

A nurse asked me a ton of questions about my health history, and I changed into a gown and those cute little socks they give you. I had shaved the "area" before hand, but I wasn't exactly sure how much was necessary, so she had to shave a bit more. They took my blood pressure, my temperature, and listened to my heart.

Remember how I mentioned that I hate needles? I told the nurse, who was incredibly kind, how terrified I am of needles. I asked her where the least painful place to have an IV was. I told her I had only ever had them done on the top of my hand, which I thought was probably the most painful place ever. Plus, it ruined the veins on my right hand. I have delicate hands, and they didn't appreciate a needle being shoved in them.
I asked her if the vein on the top of my arm would work, as it seemed to be a less painful place. She said sure, that she could......try.

Try? That is NOT a word that a needle phobe like myself wants to hear. However, since I have always wondered if, in fact, it would be a less painful place, I told her to go ahead.

She proceeded to "try". It didn't hurt as bad as a remember it hurting in the past. However, she couldn't get it to work. So, she moved the needle around and around in there, and it still didn't take. By this time, I was starting to tear up. I was squeezing Hubs' hand very hard.

She mentioned that she was going to have to try in another spot. She gave me a break, and Hubs said he was going to go to the bathroom. I heard water running, and then he was in there for a while. I asked him if he was OK, and he said he felt like he was going to pass out.

He started walking out toward me, and he was completely white. I told him to sit down, and got the nurse. He was as white as a sheet! He hadn't had hardly anything to eat all day, and he had been watching the nurse as she was trying to start the IV and digging around in my arm. I was beginning to fall apart a little by that time, and I guess it was all just too much. So, we had another patient on our hands. Ha! They quickly laid him down on the floor, and gave him some crackers to eat. Scary!

They had a different nurse come in and try to start another IV on me. This time, she did one on the inside of my elbow. It took, but it really hurt, and was burning. She mentioned that it was fine, and that it was probably just the alcohol. They gave me a warm blanket to put over it, and I did my best to try to forget about it. But the pain continued on.

My pastor came in to pray with Hubs and I before the surgery. What a blessing it is to have a pastor like him! He had driven an hour just to see me and be able to pray with me. He truly cares about people, and did his best to make me laugh, and forget about what I was going through.

About a half an hour later, my arm had shooting pains in it, and it was very hard to bend. It felt like someone had pumped the blood pressure cuff all the way up and then left it there. I told Hubs that something was very wrong. I felt my arm, that had been covered in a blanket, and it felt as hard as a rock. It was also around the size of Hubs', throbbing, and very painful. Yeah....not good.

They then went and got THE BEST nurse in the place, that could start an IV on anyone, and she proceeded to put a good one in my wrist. It hardly hurt, and when it was done, it didn't hurt at all. The other arm had to have the bad IV taken out, which wasn't very fun. Apparently, the needle had gone completely through the vein, and the fluid was just building up inside the tissue, instead of moving along in the vein like it was supposed to.

By this time, I was beside myself. The lack of sleep, the stress, the worrying, the pain, it all just got to be too much. I started crying, and I couldn't make myself stop. They had orginally told me when I asked for sedatives when I first got there, that they wouldn't give me any anything until I was back in the cath lab, but then they changed their minds. It was like something came over me, and I was not myself. I guess we all have our breaking point, and I definitely reached mine.

They were running behind, so since I wasn't an emergency case, my time came and went. It was around 4:00 p.m. by the time they took me back. Hubs wasn't allowed to go back in the cath lab with me, but by that time, some of the sedatives had kicked in.The nurse said they had slipped me a "mickey" and I was beginning to feel much better about the whole thing. Hooray for good drugs!

Everyone that I came in contact with at the heart center was very kind and caring. They did their best to make me feel comfortable, and even when they had to hurt me, they were nice about it. It definitely does make things better when people are nice. Kindness counts!

Back in the cath lab, they told me everything they were going to do, and they asked me exactly how much I wanted to participate. They mentioned that some people like to watch the screen as they go into their heart, and be told what they are seeing. I told them I wanted to be HEAVILY sedated, and didn't even want to know anything at all!

It was very cold in the cath lab, but just like in my regular room at the hospital, they put warm blankets on top of me, and then I was quite comfortable. I had to lay on a table similar to what they would use in an operating room. They had these plastic things that my arms could lay in that had heated towels in them. I wasn't strapped down at all, and never felt panicky in the least. They covered me completely from head to toe with a drape that felt just like a heavy blanket. They told me not to move my arms at all, and if my nose got itchy, then I was just to tell them, and they would itch it for me!

They covered my bikini area with a towel, so I wasn't exposed at all. It was all very professional. The people were so nice, and were laughing and joking with me. I told them about my experience prior to getting in to see them, and the one lady told me that she would do her best to make this procedure go as smoothly as possible. I felt like I was being cared for by dear friends, instead of total strangers.

They attached sticky pads and electrodes all over me, so they could monitor my heart and breathing at all times.

They told me they were going to give me four shots in my groin, and that they would feel like a bee sting. And, while they were painful, it was bearable. They gave me enough medicine so that I basically slept through most of it. I did wake up a couple times in pain, as they were taking things in and out, and pressing heavily on my artery, so I wouldn't bleed to death. But, they talked me though it, and told me to take some deep breaths, and it was over before I knew it. I had read that I would feel a "warm" feeling spreading though my body when they put the dye in, and I did. It didn't hurt at all, and just felt warm. I never felt any pain in my heart during the procedure. They told me that I may feel some palpitations, but I don't remember feeling any. Like I said, I don't really remember very much of it, which is just the way I wanted it!

After I came back to my room, I was still in and out of it. They had a nurse take out the "sheaths" in my groin, and that was pretty painful, but over quickly. She then began pressing on my artery, right above where they had cut, and she did that for the next half hour. While I slept through it, I was awakened every once in a while because I could feel her pressing. Hard. I kept asking her how much longer she was going to do that! For anyone who has ever had a baby, and they have "pressed" on your stomach so that your uterus would go back to it's normal size, it's kind of like that. Not pleasant, but very necessary.

I had to lay flat, with my head slightly elevated for the next 5 hours. I had a sand bag pillow on my groin, and they came in constantly to check on me. During this time after the surgery, they worry about the artery bleeding out. They took my blood pressure every 5 mins. at the beginning, and then every 15 mins. after that. They kept checking on the area, and repositioning the sand bag every so often.

I mainly slept through this time, so for me, the time went rather fast. I was allowed to eat, but since I couldn't lift my head, Hubs had to feed me. Now, that's love. He took such great care of me, and just knowing he was there with me was a tremendous comfort. He really is my rock.

They told Hubs after the surgery that my heart looked just fine. They mentioned that my arteries are a little small, which made it harder for them to get in. Maybe that's why I felt more? Not sure.

They were checking for pulmonary hypertension, and for any defects in the valves. Praise the Lord, everything is in working order. I do indeed have a heart, and now I have the pictures to prove it!

I was allowed to leave after I walked some laps around the area, and they took out my IV.

We didn't get home until after midnight. I was told that I can't do any kind of exercise, walk up/down stairs, drive, or lift anything heavier than 5 lbs. for the next 4-5 days.

Today, my groin is pretty sore, and it hurts to walk around. I'm also still pretty groggy, but, that is to be expected. I was told that if I started bleeding from the area, or developed a large swollen "knot," that I was to immediately call 911. I was also supposed to alert my doctor if my leg showed any signs of the blood not circulating properly, like if my toes or leg turned cold, white, or blue.

I am supposed to just rest and take it easy for the next few days, and I assure you, that is exactly what I plan on doing!

I hope that if you ever find yourself in the same situation that I was, and have to have a heart cath done, that by reading this, you will feel better about having it done. While it was not a walk in the park, it was bearable, and they made sure that although I wasn't "asleep", I really was quite out of it.

Thanks for all the prayers! I really appreciate it ♥